I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

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children who are not cared for by loving caregivers (parents) risk attachment problems and a damaged ability to create and maintain healthy relationships for the rest of their lives. If your past or present relationships have had more than their share of turbulence and uncertainty, you may be dealing with a more specific, widespread and well-established, though often unrecognized, problem. As a mental health professional, I can say that I found this book to be among the best written to help a person better understand their spouse, friend, parent, sibling, etc.

If your partner pulls away, asks for space, or wants to leave you, you might feel compelled to take extreme measures to repair the relationship, potentially crossing boundaries. Also, Empathy should be expressed in a neutral way with minimal personal reference to the speaker’s own feelings. I guess that’s a common assumption among old, boring people, but fuck off with that shit pleeeeeeeeeease, k thx.

The one whose quirky sense of humor and adorable mannerisms bring a joyful smile to your face will later leave you weary and exasperated when they leave the cap off the toothpaste or forget to put the toilet seat down yet again. Thus, for both your sake and theirs, it is extremely important for you to learn more about what is behind this increasingly common pattern of behavior. Still some of the case studies are helpful to give an idea of what the condition looks like to someone who isn't sure. He finishes with a warning for new students of clinical psychology: They should stay away from BPD patients, who might lure them into sexual affairs. The next, they seem to have forgotten all of the good things you did before, reacting only to your most recent negative encounter - no matter how trivial - and suddenly you are cast inexplicably as the villain.

Their ability to process circumstances and thoughts can be limited at times, as they often experience extreme emotions.Beyond Fear to Hope "Psychological change requires resisting unproductive automatic reflexes and consciously and willfully choosing other alternatives - choices that are different, even opposite, from the automatic reflex - sometimes these new ways of behaving are frightening, but they hopefully are more efficient ways of coping. As a result, you may feel like the impotent victim of an extremely undeserved retaliation for this person's past abuses at the hands of others. Indeed, others who know this person may even doubt your description of their troubles and difficulties since they remain unfamiliar with that side of them.

If your relationship starts to falter, you may find that your partner's perception of you changes, leading to a paradoxical contradiction. This expanded and revised edition remains as accessible and useful as its predecessor and will reestablish this book as the go-to source for those diagnosed with BPD, their family, friends, and colleagues, as well as professionals and students in the field. I probably would not reccomend the book as a whole to patients for the above mentioned reasons, but definitely copy one of the case studies. He has lectured widely in both this country and abroad, and has appeared on many media programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show. This book is largely made up of disparate anecdotes of patients that the author has either treated, or otherwise come across.And by journey's end, I was left more learned as well as a less emotionally-charged than when it began. I guess it hurts to realise that instead of being supportive and kind, I should've kept on being a narcissistic jerk. When someone grows up in a household where the parents do not outwardly validate a child’s emotions, they may develop feelings of rejection and low self-esteem.

I’m not a psychiatrist but even I KNOW you need to validate people’s feelings, not tell them they’re wrong, ESPECIALLY when you don’t know what they’re going through. Their relationships can ride a similar emotional roller coaster, highlighted by times when they feel close to someone, followed by periods of loathing, anger, or fear. Particularly drawn to highly structured situations, or the helping professions like medicine, nursing, or counseling, they seem unable to adapt when any job becomes too undirected.

Obviously I am not cured, and I have a long way to go until I am in recovery etc, but this book explains EVERYTHING and I am able to understand my behaviours in more detail including what has and what is still causing my BPD. You begin to see their childlike pattern of viewing things in black and white - all good and all bad, without shades of gray - applied to many areas of life. Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD.